Tok essay

I am uploading u my Tok essay, this is my first draft, I need the final draft for tomorrow, and unfortunately I lost the comments of my teacher, but I remember them, and she said that I should maintain the example of a we care project that is voluntarism in Peru, but also add another example related to the other AOK and need to extend the TKSA until 1,500 words.Then she said that I should change human sciences to write all about business, and then if you could extend it with other examples, like, you know how to do it, because I would like to take a B and I’m currently about a C or a D now, so I need to extend it until at least 1,500 words, and if you can correct it a bit and add correlated examples to my AOKs with, like, important and various examples. Please browse also through my bibliography and maybe take examples from that sites, or If u want extract examples from other sites. Also follow step by step by relating to the criteria of the Tok essay, u can find it on revision dojo.