- Provide constructive feedback and share any additional insights.
- Responses should be at least 150 words each.
respond to Kendra’s post
When I think about the word family, my definition is very different from what many people probably picture. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, and because of that, my understanding of family has changed a lot over time. As a kid, I often felt different because my family did not look like the families around me. I was raised by my Pentecostal grandparents, who truly believed that if we prayed hard enough, my parents would be healed. My parents struggled with substance use and were rarely present at school events or activities. I learned at a young age how to hide what was really happening at home. We were very poor because of my parents drug use, and I carried a lot of shame around that. At school and church, I just wanted to fit in. There were so many times I wanted to talk about what was going on in my life, but instead I stayed quiet and pretended everything was okay.
As I got older, I started to realize that I did not grow up with examples of healthy communication, emotional safety, or stable relationships. That realization was hard, but it also helped shape how I define family now. Today, I do not spend holidays with my biological family Instead, I spend them with people I have chosen, including close friends, my partner, and my dog. These are the people who show up for me, support me, and make me feel safe. Because of that, I define family as the people who provide care, consistency, and support, not just those you are related to by blood.
My definition of family has been shaped by my life experiences and my education in social work. I believe families are meant to meet basic needs like support, belonging, and connection, but those needs do not have to come from biological relatives. Families can look very different, and that should not be judged. This connects with anti-oppressive social work, which focuses on understanding peoples lived experiences rather than forcing everyone into one idea of what family should look like (Morgaine & Capous-Desyllas, 2021).
Anti-oppressive practice is especially important in family work because social workers can easily make assumptions about what a good or healthy family is. In real practice, this means asking clients how they define family and respecting chosen family. It also means understanding how addiction, poverty, trauma, and systemic barriers affect families. Too often, families like mine are judged instead of truly understood.
Self-reflection matters a lot in this work because our own experiences can influence how we view clients. My background reminds me how quickly families can be judged from the outside. Because of that, I try to stay open, respectful, and curious when working with families whose lives may look very different from my own. I also try to help clients see that they get to decide who they want in their lives and what support looks like for them.
When I think about how I would want my own family treated by a social worker, I would want empathy instead of judgment. I would want someone who understands addiction and poverty without reducing my family members to those struggles alone. One positive experience I had was with my dads social worker. She worked with him for over fifteen years, helped educate me about his medications, and treated our family with respect. We still talk today, and she is about to retire. That relationship showed me what meaningful, anti-oppressive social work can look like.
Overall, my experiences have taught me that families do not need to be perfect or traditional to matter. Anti-oppressive social work means honoring peoples realities and allowing families to define themselves on their own terms.
Reference
Morgaine, K., & Capous-Desyllas, M. (2021). Anti-oppressive social work practice: Putting theory into action (2nd ed.). Oxford University Press.

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